Archive for the ‘Rants’ Category

Anti same-sex marriage?

I am an old woman, raised in a certain way, it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks, I cannot say that I completely understand or support unions between people of the same-sex, even though I have a nephew I adore who is that way inclined.

This doesn’t mean however that I despise gay people, want to see them burnt at the stake, run out of town thrown in prison, whatever nonsense some people spew. I truly believe this is against God’s teachings, and as I feel that way I will let God deal with them as he sees fit, if at all, just because I believe this doesn’t mean it’s going to happen, I am no saint I am sure I have not lived my nearly 70 years without sin. I do also believe judge not lest ye be judged, how can I throw the first stone when I myself am not sinless.

Who you choose to love and spend your life with is between you and your God, I have a friend, married for many years, I didn’t like her husband very much, I didn’t think he was suited to her, but did I have aright to ban her from marrying him, just because I didn’t agree with his lifestyle, or his politics, or the colour of his socks? South Africa is one of the few countries that allows same-sex marriage and I am proud of that fact, yes I can be proud of something and not believe it to be right at the same time, don’t ask me how but I can.

Before some of you more God-fearing, readers chime in, I do not however believe that a person’s sexual orientation is out of their hands, that they are born to be gay, I am not talking about transgender here I am talking about fully equiped males and females who are sexually attracted to other fully equiped males and females.

Sexual attraction is a choice, a decision you make, I do not for one moment believe that I was born with some gene that would only allow me to be sexually attracted to mildly good-looking doctors who would later go bald and grow a beard. I made a choice I decided this was the sort of person I was attracted to, just like some men like blondes, some like brunettes, some women like bald men others like tall dark and handsome and some men like men, that’s it, I really do believe it is as simple as that, some men and women are sexually attracted to the same-sex, it’s nothing to do with genes, or the way they developed in their mother’s wombs, it is a simple choice they make, they choose to be attracted to men or women, just as us “straight” people also choose to be attracted to men and women. Physically there is nothing different between a straight male and a gay male, they are the same person, each one has just made a decision as to what “turns him on” sexually, the same with straight men and women. Sometimes I feel we “straight” people have badgered ‘gay” people for so long that they have tried to come up with an excuse for their “gayness”. You do not need an excuse, this is your life to live it how you please, if you believe in God then you will have to meet your maker one day and explain, if you do not believe in God then you have nothing to worry about, maybe.

In short, I do not have a problem with gay people, I do not have a problem with them wanting to marry and constructing stable lives for themselves, I do however have a problem with gays claiming they have no choice they were “born” that way, because frankly I am sorry I do not believe it, I believe you acquired your sexual preference not that you were born with it, but I wish you all the best in your marriages/relationships and hope you managed to figure out the secret of successful longevity in relationships, us straight people seem to be losing that battle.


More Facebook trouble……..

Recently Thandiswa Mazwai posted her (negative) feelings about singing Die Stem part of our anthem on Facebook. Yup. Another person getting into trouble over Facebook.
And my, what trouble it was.

It was published in the papers, became big news and white people everywhere went crazy. (As if our country needs Thandiswa to sing that part! I mean, have you heard it being bellowed out at the rugby?) Predictably, the general rant was something along the old lines of: Apartheid is, like, so in the past. Get over it already. How dare you still be upset about something that happened, like ages ago! It’s been like 15 years! Gosh

By that reasoning we should’ve stopped hearing about the Holocaust in 1960. But those damn Jews just don’t want to get over it. Bloody crybabies. And anybody still feeling emotional about the Anglo Boer War more than a hundred years later must be a total nutcase. Which makes all those DeLaRey fans even bigger crybabies.

But seriously. I have a lot of sympathy for Ms Mazwai. Hell, I’m white and I don’t sing that part. Nor do any of my friends. Because it reminds us of a dark, awful time and frankly, just creeps the hell out of us.

To borrow a phrase from my youngest son, Apartheid sucked. And I’m not even talking about the true horrors of the past – as a privileged suburban white woman I don’t feel I have the right to lament the injustices done to the majority of South Africans. I’m talking about the sheer banality of the vanilla existence I grew up in.

Do you even remember South Africa in the eighties? The endless insane propaganda in our schools, the hate speech, the semi war torture that was Veld Skool, the crazy patriotism that had 11 year olds raising the flag at 7 am in the middle of a Transvaal winter. No, jissie. I get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Those were the days when male teachers were allowed to spank 9-year-old girls with wooden implements, boys were forced to play rugby and do “Kadette” in order to be “paraat”, and girls were taught how to make a peppermint crisp tart without electricity (I kid you not) so that we’d be prepared to flee and survive in the wild when the black masses finally got fed up and decided to cook us all in a pot.

Remember at midnight the TV would switch over to the rippling flag with the names of all the boys who died on the border?
“ons sal lewe
ons sal sterwe
ons vir jou Suid Afrika” indeed.

All that Afrikaner Nasionalisme, Christelik Nasionale militant mumbo-jumbo that made me want to kots in my taal. The NG Church has since apologised for actively condoning Apartheid but sadly, Afrikaner Nasionalisme is still limping along just fine.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m proudly South African,and with regards to our anthem: I quite like the fact that it’s so patched together. But whenever I hear the bars of Die Stem after that weird bridge part, it sends shivers down my spine. Because people don’t change overnight. In fact, they don’t change much in 15 years. I refused to allow my children to sing Die Stem when they were growing up because even as  children the irony that it was only 10% of the country’s voice didn’t escape me. I love my country and its people – all its people – but my white Apartheid chip on my shoulder make the words of the old anthem taste like ashes in my mouth.

Our past isn’t magically going to disappear. And it shouldn’t. So instead of saying it’s time to “put everything in the past” or “get over it” or whatever other lame platitudes people spout, we should rather make peace with the fact that we all come with different sets of baggage. And to tolerate, hell, maybe even respect that.

So, if your baggage allows you to sing all parts of our anthem with equal gusto – good for you. But be fair, and allow people like me and Thandiswa our different sets of baggage, which might make singing those words more difficult for us than you could ever imagine.

A despicable action

I have been following the story of Nikole Harris, the 24-year-old attention seeker who made South Africans scramble to find her

I was shocked to read  that this was just a prank she was playing on citizens of our country all along.

What is really shocking is that one wonders how many people paid with their lives because of this pathetic attempt at a prank.

The fact is every minute of police time spent on this hoax could have meant the difference between life and death for real victims of crime.

Nikole, you are twenty four! Not a child! What in the world were you thinking? Do you lack a proper upbringing? Do you have a pathological need for perpetual attention to comfort you insecurities?

Your actions are despicable. Grow up

A volunteer’s nightmare

I was under the impression that non profit organisations needed as much help and support from the public as they can get. Well, it doesn’t seem that way anymore!

My son has been struggling with four institutions now to offer his time and expertise as a volunteer but he either doesn’t hear back from them, or he has to nag them constantly to let him know when he can volunteer.

A very well known children’s hospital made it an absolute nightmare trying to volunteer there – basically if you work full time you have to take leave to attend talks, fill out forms, volunteer etc.

A well known animal welfare organisation did not get back to him after he applied twice to volunteer, then when he chased them he was promised someone would contact him in the first week of May and still nothing.

Two small animal welfare groups, which I doubt anyone has ever heard of, are just not interested.

He volunteered twice at the one place and never heard from them again despite e-mails etc, and have offered to do some free PR and campaigns for another, and have not ever heard back from them either.

Come on guys, you are continuously calling for volunteers but make it a nightmare to actually do it.

Winter is hair again.

I always know when winter is here.


No it’s not the nip in the air, the wind or the rain,the falling leaves or the fact it is still dark when I get up in the morning. It’s all in the hair!


One word – STATIC.


I think I might be related to Boris Johnson, the Mayor of London


I am going to keep this short to avoid boring those of you who actually read my blogs. I know this is old news but it still, sticks in my craw that major western countries sent lower ranking officials, such as Britain’s junior foreign minister Mark Malloch Brown, US trade representative Ron Kirk and French secretary of state for human rights Rama Yade, to president Zuma’s inauguration.
These countries were major players in placing pressure and sanctions on apartheid South Africa, and calling for the unbanning of the ANC. Democracy was demanded and that was what they duly got.
So instead of honouring that we have had 4 presidents in 15 ( unlike the one president for 29 years in Zimbabwe ) and that we are probably the most workable democracy in Africa, they send people so far down the pecking order, I am sure their own citizens have never heard of them! Very encouraging.
Then they wonder why Africa regards them with suspicion!

‘Gender equality: Who cares?’

I see the Comission for Gender Equality has praised the ANC for its female provincial premier appointemnts. Well it would, wouldn’t it?!
I have absolutely no problem with women in positions of authority, in fact I welcome it, whether it’s Nomvula Mokonyane, Maria Ramos or Helen Zille.
What I do have a problem though is a woman – or anyone else for that matter, who isn’t a white, middle aged male-getting a top job through gender or racial manipulation.
I don’t care about the race or sex of whoever gets a top government job or coporate job, provided that I have good reason to believe that it’s the BEST person for the position regardless of race or sex.
I get the impression we are far too fond of window dressing at the expense of efficient delivery. And considering the manifold problems this country has right now, I would have thought service delivery would be top of the governemnt’s list.
What the government – and everyone else in authority-should be concentrating on is levelling the playing field at the very lowest levels, ie primary school education, followed by high school and tertiary education.
Then when the cream of the crop has emerged, choose from that elite group according to relevent qualifications and personality traits. The only time race or gender should be a consideration should be if two people have exactly the same qualifications-and a choice has to be made. And it should be made considering the position at stake.
Fifteen years after South Africa achieved democracy, a whole new, mainly non-racial generation has grown up.
They are all “new” South Africans and should be treated equally, regardless of race or sex.
Quotas- racial or gender- are just wrong, whether they are to do with government appointments or national sports teams.
And if our new president truly wants to represent all South Africans, as he says, he’ll have to recognise this.