"Don’t vote me off the island just yet"

As some of you know my son has been in a coma for the last three weeks, due to complications of his heart condition and a bout of malaria he suffered from while abroad. His numerous afflictions at times seemed too many for one single person to suffer from, apart from the obvious that comes with having DCM, he was on the brink of renal failure, he was suffering from pulmonary edema, he couldn’t breathe on his own, he had lost 30 lbs in weight. He was put on a ventilator and a hole was cut in his chest to drain the fluid build up from his lungs, the doctors then put him into a controlled coma so not to put any more stress on him.
Three Sundays ago, we were told to prepare for the worst, we had Father Ptrick on speed dial incase we needed him to perform the Last Rites on Grayson before he passed away, Leo retrieved Grayson’s will and list of requests from the safe, so we could follow his wishes as to his funeral.
For three weeks I sat by my son’s bed, holding his hand, knowing what we were doing was against his wishes, he has always asked to be let go, not to be kept alive on machines, several times the doctors tried to see if he could breathe alone and he could not. but he was functional on all other levels, and it is that which covinced us to go against his wishes and have him treated according to what his doctors wanted.
Once during the 3 weeks, he woke to scribble on a pad that he wanted to donate his corneas, as all of his other organs were failing and were no good for donating.
There were times that I gave up hope, that I lost faith and believed we would lose him, I was so angry, the anger I first felt when he was 19 and we discovered his condition, the “Why my child, and not someone elses child” rage, the unfairness of it all.
But he never gave up, despite his weakened state, he held on, and tonight I held his hand as the doctors removed the tubes, as they injected him with the medicine that would wake him up, they removed the tape that had held his eyes closed for three weeks, and my beautiful son opened his eyes he smiled at me, and I cried, tears of happiness, of relief, of exhaustion, he motioned for his pad and pen, and wrote,” stop crying mother, i’am not going down with out a fight :-P” and then he wrote ” i missed you”.
I thought I would pass out I was so overwhelmed. I was shaking so hard, Leo had to almost carry me down to the car.
He has a long way to go, he’s not out of the proverbial woods yet, but he is awake and I know how stubborn he is, as he always jokes, when he has one of his episodes ” Don’t vote me off the island just yet”. I know he will walk away from this.


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